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	<title>mystery meat &#8211; Mikey’s Kitchen</title>
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	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:28:01 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>Spam haikus</title>
		<link>https://www.mikeyskitchen.com/2010/11/29/spam-haikus/</link>
					<comments>https://www.mikeyskitchen.com/2010/11/29/spam-haikus/#comments</comments>
		
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Mike Farley]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:27:33 +0000</pubDate>
				<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Your Kitchen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guilty pleasures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meat haikus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mystery meat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spam haikus]]></category>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.mikeyskitchen.com/?p=36</guid>

					<description><![CDATA[I am not sure what the original source is for these (and if anyone knows, I will link and give proper credit), but I have saved these Spam haikus in my inbox from a forward a friend sent me like 10 years ago. They are hilarious, and of course, timeless. Enjoy! 1. Blue can of [&#8230;]]]></description>
										<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am not sure what the original source is for these (and if anyone knows, I will link and give proper credit), but I have saved these Spam haikus in my inbox from a forward a friend sent me like 10 years ago.  They are hilarious, and of course, timeless.  Enjoy!</p>
<p>1. Blue can of steel<br />
What promise do you hold?<br />
Salt flesh so ripe</p>
<p>2. Can of metal, slick<br />
Soft center, so cool, moistening<br />
I yearn for your salt</p>
<p>3. Twist, pull the sharp lid<br />
Jerks and cuts me deeply but<br />
Spam, aah, my poultice</p>
<p>4. Silent, former pig<br />
One communal awareness<br />
Myriad pink bricks</p>
<p>5. Clad in metal, proud<br />
No mere salt-curing for you<br />
You are not bacon</p>
<p><span id="more-36"></span></p>
<p>6. And who dares mock Spam?<br />
You? you? you are not worthy<br />
Of one rich pink fleck</p>
<p>7. Like some spongy rock<br />
A granite, my piece of Spam<br />
In sunlight on my plate</p>
<p>8. Little slab of meat<br />
In a wash of clear jelly<br />
Now I heat the pan</p>
<p>9. Oh tin of pink meat<br />
I ponder what you may be:<br />
Snout or ear or feet?</p>
<p>10. In the cool morning<br />
I fry up a slab of Spam<br />
A dog barks next door</p>
<p>11. Pink tender morsel<br />
Glistening with salty gel<br />
What the hell is it?</p>
<p>12. Ears, snouts and innards<br />
A homogenous mass<br />
Pass another slice</p>
<p>13. Old man seeks doctor<br />
&#8220;I eat Spam daily&#8221;, he says.<br />
Angioplasty</p>
<p>14. Highly unnatural<br />
The tortured shape of this &#8220;food&#8221;<br />
A small pink coffin</p>
<p>15. Pink beefy temptress<br />
I can no longer remain<br />
Vegetarian</p>
<p>16. Spam. Wonderful Spam.<br />
Monty Python once so praised you.<br />
Now, again, do I.</p>
<p>17. Meat so pink and full<br />
of promise.  Frying in all<br />
glory.  What&#8217;s your story?</p>
<p>18. Mystery meat so rich<br />
and tasty.  Full of noxious<br />
things.  Hey Mom, let&#8217;s eat!</p>
<p>19. Turn the key, quickly.<br />
The mini meat locker opens.<br />
Inside, Spam awaits.</p>
<p>20. On my pristine plate,<br />
Spam lies before me. Come hither,<br />
pink turd of happiness.</p>
<p>21. Spam for breakfast,<br />
then lunch, dinner, dessert.<br />
Another perfect day.</p>
<p>22. Gelatenous globule<br />
slides from tongue to tummy.<br />
Bowel obstruction.</p>
<p>23. I plunge my knife<br />
deep into its fleshy, mottled folds.<br />
My Spam, I share.</p>
<p>24. Mouth-watering wonder;<br />
tastebud tantalizing, too.<br />
It&#8217;s Spam-o-licious!</p>
<p>25. Hormel, home of Spam,<br />
beckons with sweet succulence.<br />
My Mecca!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
					
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