I am not sure what the original source is for these (and if anyone knows, I will link and give proper credit), but I have saved these Spam haikus in my inbox from a forward a friend sent me like 10 years ago. They are hilarious, and of course, timeless. Enjoy!

1. Blue can of steel
What promise do you hold?
Salt flesh so ripe

2. Can of metal, slick
Soft center, so cool, moistening
I yearn for your salt

3. Twist, pull the sharp lid
Jerks and cuts me deeply but
Spam, aah, my poultice

4. Silent, former pig
One communal awareness
Myriad pink bricks

5. Clad in metal, proud
No mere salt-curing for you
You are not bacon

6. And who dares mock Spam?
You? you? you are not worthy
Of one rich pink fleck

7. Like some spongy rock
A granite, my piece of Spam
In sunlight on my plate

8. Little slab of meat
In a wash of clear jelly
Now I heat the pan

9. Oh tin of pink meat
I ponder what you may be:
Snout or ear or feet?

10. In the cool morning
I fry up a slab of Spam
A dog barks next door

11. Pink tender morsel
Glistening with salty gel
What the hell is it?

12. Ears, snouts and innards
A homogenous mass
Pass another slice

13. Old man seeks doctor
“I eat Spam daily”, he says.
Angioplasty

14. Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this “food”
A small pink coffin

15. Pink beefy temptress
I can no longer remain
Vegetarian

16. Spam. Wonderful Spam.
Monty Python once so praised you.
Now, again, do I.

17. Meat so pink and full
of promise. Frying in all
glory. What’s your story?

18. Mystery meat so rich
and tasty. Full of noxious
things. Hey Mom, let’s eat!

19. Turn the key, quickly.
The mini meat locker opens.
Inside, Spam awaits.

20. On my pristine plate,
Spam lies before me. Come hither,
pink turd of happiness.

21. Spam for breakfast,
then lunch, dinner, dessert.
Another perfect day.

22. Gelatenous globule
slides from tongue to tummy.
Bowel obstruction.

23. I plunge my knife
deep into its fleshy, mottled folds.
My Spam, I share.

24. Mouth-watering wonder;
tastebud tantalizing, too.
It’s Spam-o-licious!

25. Hormel, home of Spam,
beckons with sweet succulence.
My Mecca!