I came to realize well into my adult life that, while I may not be allergic to them, my belly just does not like green onions. Or, as my grandfather would say, “They don’t like me.” The thing is, though, I try. I love the taste of green onions. One of my favorite holiday foods growing up was green onion chip dip. But for whatever reason, if I eat more than a few of them, I have to reach for the Alka-Seltzer.

But let me tell you, avoiding green onions is almost impossible. If you like Mexican, Chinese, Thai or anything Southwest, you are likely going to encounter this vegetable. They are chopped up and added to wonton soup, stir fries, dumplings, quesadillas, spinach dip or get this–Taco Bell’s Mexican pizza. No joke, I have had to ask for my fast food Mexican pizza with no green onions. If I forget, I have to pick them off the top–but they have this way of multiplying and frustrating me. I have to look at ingredients before buying them.

Oooh, these Trader Joe’s dumplings look delicious–oh wait, green onions are the third ingredient. I took a Thai cooking class a few months ago and we made egg rolls and spring rolls from scratch, and guess what was in them? Same with the dumplings we made. Oooh, Southwest corn and chile dip! Wait, green onions. Hey, what’s Bobby Flay making? Oh, there he goes with the green onions.

I guess the one saving grace is that oftentimes the green onions are added as a garnish and can be omitted or scraped off before they immerse themselves in whatever dish it is. But as I mentioned earlier, they get tough to pick out, especially if they are stuck to melted cheese.

Then sometimes I think, “Hey, maybe I should try green onions again.” After all, I don’t like raw onions either, but I do love them grilled or caramelized or stir-fried….or, in onion rings. So recently I tried grilling some green onions that we received from our local CSA. Maybe the charred version would be okay to my insides. The result? Delicious, but the same old green onion indigestion or heartburn or whatever it is came right back. So I guess it’s something I’ll have to continue to avoid, and well, there could be worse things to have an aversion to I guess!

And hey, if you like green onions, more power to you, and you can have mine.

It’s become a buzzword/term in 2012–pink slime.

Like you, I had no idea what it was until I read an article two months ago in Mother Jones. This is how the article describes it: “the cheeky nickname for scraps of slaughtered cow that have been pulverized, defatted, subjected to ammonia steam to kill pathogens, and congealed into a filler for ground beef.” It goes on to say that McDonald’s was using it but planned to stop doing so, along with Taco Bell and Burger King, who also succumbed to the public outcry.

But pink slime is apparently in school lunch ground beef. It’s in packaged and frozen burgers, and even in commercially sold ground beef. Wow. How the hell do you get around that if you eat and enjoy burgers, meatballs, meat loaf or other ground meat products?

I know what I”m doing. I’m not eating fast food ground meat. I’m thinking twice before ordering something made with ground beef in a restaurant. For home use, we buy ground beef from a local farm (at the farmer’s market here in Madison) that we know is organic and high quality, or from Trader Joe’s, which states on its website that their ground meat does not contain pink slime. We are not ready to give up meat entirely, but what we are also doing is trying to eat one or two vegetarian meals per week.

I am not naive enough to think that there isn’t crap like this in many foods–or pesticides or whatever. But pink slime? It’s vile, it’s scary and it has no place on my plate or on my family’s plates.

Memo to Taco Bell–your commercials work. I was watching football on Sunday and a commercial came on for the limited time only “Beefy Crunch Burrito.” It’s a burrito with (are you ready for this?) Flamin’ Hot Fritos right in the burrito. Are you kidding me? I knew I wouldn’t want to be plucked from my comfy blue recliner while watching my Giants crush the Falcons, but dammit, I will get to Taco Bell this week. That’s what I said to myself. Monday came and went and I forgot. Tuesday morning came and a light bulb went off in my head around the time I had lunch hunger pangs. Oh yeah, it’s time, I thought.

I had to pick up our son from preschool which meant I had a short window of time to get to the Bell and then pick him up, and get home before my food got cold. The line was literally out the door, and I stood there for a few minutes, and then noticed the drive thru lane was near empty. I got in my car, cruised up and ordered, “Two Beefy Crunch Burritos, please, no sides, no drink”…..and amazingly, it was only $2.09. And I would still be in line if I didn’t do the drive-thru.

Anyway, I got some hot sauce to go with the burritos, but these babies needed no sauce–there was some saucy taco meat, rice, some oozing cheese, sour cream, and of course, the spicy corn chips, wrapped in those pillows of flour tortilla. Damn. This is as close to dude food nirvana as it gets–of course, it’s not like it’s a juicy steak, but there is certainly a place for nicely crafted and delicious fast food in any guy’s diet. (speaking of which, don’t tell my doctor I ate these).

Oh, and they did get cold by the time I got through my second one, because I was working while eating, and because I was savoring every bite. For real, yo. Go try these now…..seriously, go try these now!